Fire?

Strategic history and physical today of a 4 year old hyperactive child with headaches:  

He begins by shouting into the intercom phone in the room.  We complete our HPI talking on imaginary phones.  Observing him slide in and out the pap stirrups = motor exam.  He dives into the biohazard bin.  I ask him to please not dive into the biohazard bin.   Gross motor+language comprehension.  He discovers the pap light.  No photophobia, it seems.  Pupils are equally reactive to light.   

He shines the light on the wall. 

“Oh no, guys, it’s a fire!”  He yells.

“Really?”

“Yeah! Get in the car!”

I wheel my stool around the room.  He drives the procedures cart.

“Grab the hose!” I shout.

He grabs my pen.

“Fire!!” He yells.

“Put it out!” We both spray the wall with the hose.  We have to hold on tight because it is one of those huge ones on fire trucks, you know. 

The kick back causes the procedures cart to crash into the wall.

My medical assistant bursts through the door.

“Are you guys alright in here?”

“Um, yeah,” I say.

“Guys!  There’s an alien! WATCHOUT!”  He bolts from the room.

I guess we’re done?