Day 4

Well.  I survived the first day of patients.  And the second.  Here is what I learned.  There are many rashes in this world that exist, and which I cannot identify.  Getting an atlas out does help me to generate an impressive differential diagnosis, but not necessarily the correct diagnosis.  When in doubt, I tend to dictate an impressively long note.

Sent a lady for induction for pre-eclampsia.  It was the correct decision.  It felt very, very weird to make that decision.  I felt the absence of an attending like a phantom limb.

Suddenly, I can understand why folks would want to be a PA or NP.  I could be content to fill that role the rest of my life.  I kind of wanted to be a senior resident forever, only be paid enough to support my family.  And maybe have a little autonomy from time to time, whenever I wanted it.  And then have an attending whenever I needed that. 

Once, on our eighth-grade class trip, my friend Bug sent several postcards in the mail without an address or stamp.  We gave her crap about it for years.  Yesterday I gave 2 people prescriptions without a name.  Or phone number.  Or birth date.  Just the medicines, and my signature.  Like, here's a blank check for metformin.

Precepted the resident OB patients in the afternoon yesterday.  That was cool.  Signed a note above the resident's signature, out of habit.  As if they were in fact co-signing my note.  Additionally used perhaps the oldest OB ultrasound still in regular use in the developed world to do an AFI with the resident.  Took my brain several minutes to distinguish amniotic fluid from uterine wall and/or intestines.  Machine is size of mini-cooper, color of emesis.

Today was more of same but less rashes.  Long long notes and diagnostic waffling.  Why is it so difficult for me to make decisions?  I know I'm always like this, actually, but it hasn't been much of a problem before.  Now it's a problem.

I'll tell you what's not a problem:  babies.  Babies can come see me any time of day.  I like them folks.  And I think that 3-month old I saw today liked me, too, a little bit.  She'll never know I was the one ordering the shots.